Concerning Friendship

A 2D Sensory Experience*

Friendship is like cake—one of those soda-plus-Betty-Crocker-mix cakes, because both really only require two main ingredients: Sprite Zero and confetti cake. Or, if you like, Diet Coke and devil's food cake.

Two ingredients that come in many flavors, but are essential nonetheless. In the case of friendship, we're not talking pop and some sugary flour substance, but real substance: altruism and honesty.

Sam didn't follow Frodo to Mordor because of anything that he'd get out of it. He did it because he knew Frodo would be better of with a friend than alone. And when he thought Frodo's relationship with Gollum was toxic, he spoke up, even if it meant risking his own relationship with Frodo.

Obviously, there are a lot of complicated chemical reactions at play when making a cake from soda and boxed mix due to the respective ingredients of each. Friendship is the same. There are a lot of complicated emotions that go on between two people trying to sustain any kind of relationship. If both individuals enter into that relationship with altruistic and honest intentions, then there's not a whole lot that can easily break them. 

Altruism is important because a friendship based on give-and-take can only last as long as one has something to give that is worth taking. If there's balance here, things can feel pretty right for both parties and give the illusion of altruism. That balance is bound to be broken, though, and resentment will follow.

Without honesty, do you really want to call it friendship? Just because a friend should be willing to act altruistically doesn't mean that they shouldn't think about what they want from their friendships. Not every friendship has to be orange soda and vanilla cake. Sometimes you want ginger ale and lemon cake. Sometimes you need to be with that friend who challenges you to get outside of your comfort zone and sometimes you're feeling more up to spending time with your friend who will binge watch Netflix or YouTube videos with you. 

But without honesty—a two-way street where you both confess your feelings, opinions, or desires every once in a while—how are you benefitting from your friendship? How are they benefitting from yours?

Friendship doesn't need modesty; tell your friends what you need from them and why. If you are willing to give freely to your friends, you deserve the same generosity without question. Tell your friends how you really feel (just be rational about it because there is such a thing as being overly honest). Don't waste your friendship on pleasantries that should be reserved for acquaintances. You'll never know how you feel about Mr. Pibb and pineapple cake if you don't give it an honest go.

However, as any connoisseur of soda cakes knows, the best cakes are baked with patience. Some take longer to warm than others. Be mindful of your friends' needs and baking times; give them the time they need to be the best they can be.

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*3D with cake