Active

I spent the first part of the new year with a sinus infection, which gave me an excuse to spend a good part of the week on the couch watching Friends (which started out of curiosity, but turned into genuine interest). Now we're nine days into 2019 and that's pretty much all I've done—watch Friends, sleep, and sleep some more. So far, this has not been the year my Bullet Journal had anticipated. Of course I want things to be how I had planned for them to go: reading more, studying French, writing. But that's all I did—I wanted and didn't follow through with it. I used to think that was called "procrastination", back when I was still in school and putting off assignments, but now that no one is assigning my work to me and I have nothing but myself to keep me accountable, I've realized it's not procrastination that was ever the problem, but a very weak will.

Nietzsche* wrote a lot about the will. In characterizing it, he defined two way of acting, or exercising one's will. When a person is being reactive, she becomes the object of the action. In my case, I often am objected to feelings of depression and anxiety, which I react to with oversleeping and finding distractions in the form of 90's sitcoms. Being active necessarily entails the opposite—making something else the object of your own initiating action—one that is born out of sheer will, rather than in reaction to the forces around you. In many cases, though, that means turning a reactive force into an active one. This is called exercising your "will to power" and it's an essential part of being "active".

Obviously I know Nietzsche didn't necessarily set out to offer any self-help, which is apparent enough from his extreme prejudice, sexism, etc., but still, "there is some good in the worst of us" (just in time for MLK Day). Most non-philosophers often characterize Nietzsche by the fact that kind of sucked as a person. And he did, it's just that his philosophy sucked a whole lot less. As far as self-empowerment and mindfulness go, he made some great points. What I've written barely even scratches the surface, of course, but I think the simplicity of this approach to being an active vs. reactive person gives it its strength. I know from plenty of experience that, when it comes to setting goals for yourself, it's best to avoid over-complication.

I didn't intend for this to be a new-year's-resolution type of thing, but here we are. Every new year, Melinda Gates decides on a word that she wants to encapsulate her year. It sounds a little contrived, but that's not an inherently bad thing and it's still better than trying to stick to a specific goal that might not be relevant in a few months. Plus, I did just say simpler is better. Thanks to Nietzsche, I have exactly the perfect word to frustrate and pester myself to no end with this year.

*Rhymes with pizza